lexie: How to find real happiness

How to find real happiness

7 Jun 2013 at 13:31
We created CareLikeMe because we realized that finding the best person to take care of our son during the times when we couldn't would make us all very very happy.

So what exactly is it that makes us happy? It took us a long time, but we finally figured out what a happy 'care match' meant to us - once we were sure our son would be safe with this person, then we realized that it was personality and attitude match over experience. We wanted someone that would choose to actively play with our son over doing the laundry. And would discipline him through distraction instead a big 'No' - but that is just us - for most of our friends and family, their care requirements are completely different. That is just what makes us happy.

So is there a common denominator to happiness, not just in finding the right au pair or baby sitter, but in life?

Harvard thinks they have found the answer.

In 1938 Harvard University launched the Grant Study which is one of the longest-running longitudinal studies of human development. They followed 268 Harvard undergraduate men for 75 (!!) years and spent $20 million measuring everything from personalty type and family relationships to physical attributes and eating and drinking habits to determine what is it that makes humans flourish - what makes us happy and successful?

They came up with some amazing findings -

IQ doesn't mater - no significant different in earnings between IQs of 110 and 150

Your politics effects the romance in the couples - conservative men stop having intimate relations sooner than liberals.

Warm relationships early in life create an average increase in earnings of $141k per year in the highest earning years of someones life and a 3x more likelihood of being in Who's Who (lets remember these are all Harvard Graduates).

And here is proof of the importance of all those great Mothers, Father's and I would guess, if the study measured it, all those wonderful caregivers!
• Men who had “warm” childhood relationships with their mothers earned an average of $87,000 more a year than men whose mothers were uncaring.
• Men who had poor childhood relationships with their mothers were much more likely to develop dementia when old.
• Late in their professional lives, the men’s boyhood relationships with their mothers—but not with their fathers—were associated with effectiveness at work.
• On the other hand, warm childhood relations with fathers correlated with lower rates of adult anxiety, greater enjoyment of vacations, and increased “life satisfaction” at age 75—whereas the warmth of childhood relationships with mothers had no significant bearing on life satisfaction at 75.
So what conclusion did George Vaillant, who directed the study for more than 3 years conclude?

Happiness is Love.

We'd have to agree.


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